


Sail Away With Me

by Yiffandquiff (princesslexi763)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Billionaire!Phil, CEO!Phil, Cinderella Elements, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Smut, Swearing, instagraminfluencer!dan, this is a cinderella au with a super modern twist lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesslexi763/pseuds/Yiffandquiff
Summary: It was a fluke. Dan shouldn’t have ever gone with Sam to a party on a yacht. He shouldn’t have trusted her to go. But in a chance encounter, he ends up in bed with Phil Lester, a billionaire CEO of a luxury clothing company. When he thinks he’s screwed up enough, he realizes he’s in way too deep. Because Phil Lester has fallen in love with him. The catch: Dan gave Phil a fake name and all Phil has to remember Dan by is the tattoo on his hip and the necklace he left behind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new chaptered fic! I'm not sure how many parts this is going to be but it will be alternating between Dan's POV and Phil's POV. It might not be every chapter but it will shift depending on the chapter! I'm hoping for like 10 chapters but I'm not making any promises since I said the same for I Want It, I Got It haha
> 
> I thought of this fic when I was on vacation and I saw a yacht and was like 'oh, i kind of want to do an au centered around a yacht' and so I decided to plan this out and here we are! It slowly evolved into a Cinderella fic but I'm actually super excited for that!
> 
> Updates will be every Saturday around 1pm EST

**Dans POV:**

It was just after midnight on July 22nd. The stars were shining bright over the Amalfi Coast and Daniel Howell was stood at the railing of a yacht that he didn’t even know existed until five hours before. It’s rocking, a constant back and forth motion that was actually calming for his nerves.

Maybe he was out of place being here. He kind of felt it.

His indie brand swim trunks and last year Gucci shirt was enough to show that he didn’t quite belong in the same scene as the new Versace and Dolce and Gabanna swim suits everyone else was wearing. Even the ones that opted on just wearing the bottoms and not the tops. Dan doesn’t believe he’s seen so many naked females in his life until tonight.

Was this normal?

He wasn’t entirely sure.

He had a drink in his hand that he didn’t even want and the air was kissing his skin just enough to make him feel cold. He found this ironic. How could he be chilly in July in Italy?

Just for that thought, he takes a sip of the drink and winces at the strong taste of coconut and rum. He doesn’t even like coconut. He doesn’t even remember why he grabbed it. He just knew he needed a strong drink to make it through the night if his friend Sam was dragging him to this lavish party.

Speaking of, Dan doesn’t even remember where Sam went. He looks around both sides of his shoulders and takes note of how he doesn’t see his redhead mate standing anywhere near him. She’s probably off making connections with other men—or women. Sam wasn’t picky but yet again, Dan wasn’t really either.

Although, his plans tonight didn’t include fucking some random bloke on a yacht with the hope he might become his sugar daddy. As much as he would love to find a rich guy to pay his way through life, Dan is doing semi-fine with his partnerships on Instagram. Although they’re not paying nearly as much as he needs to help furnish his lavish trips.

The yacht is still slowly moving along the coast and if he looks out, he can see the lights of the houses and hotels blinding him in the distance. He lets out a long sigh, breathes back in the air, and finishes the rest of his cocktail in one gulp, wincing at the taste as it goes down. He’s no longer finished with the empty glass when another server is coming up to him, taking the glass, and giving him a new one.

This drink is peachy colored. He takes a sip and smiles. It takes like mango and melon with a hint of something strong. He much prefers this.

The music is still banging on the yacht and if he looks around, he can see the strobe lights of the boat bouncing every which way. Maybe if his anxiety hadn’t told him he needed fresh air, he would be downstairs with everyone else and maybe he could find Sam before she made some mistake that would surely be on a tabloid tomorrow morning. In fact, he’s sure if he looks on Twitter now, it would be a new moment saying ‘Paumpau Hotel Heiress, Samantha Pamupau seen partying on CEO Phil Lester’s Private Yacht’.

Dan doesn’t even know what Phil Lester looks like. He knows that sounds probably unbelievable but Dan doesn’t pay attention to much news. He doesn’t follow anyone other than top celebrities on Twitter. When Sam mentioned partying on a billionaires yacht, Dan just agreed and purchased his first Gucci shirt that night—ironically the one he is wearing currently.

He jumps just as soon as someone shouts something in Italian in the other direction and then a loud moan follows and _fuck _he needs a drink again. He takes a long sip and fights the cloudy feelings filling his head.

He reaches up and twists his necklace in his fingers. He always did this when he got anxious. It was just a small chained necklace his grandma had bought for him as a child. He’s had to replace the chain over the course of a few years but he’s never parts with it. It’s a part of every outfit.

Dan steps back from the railing long enough to head back inside the second story of the yacht. It’s not as busy up here, but he does take note of the person sitting on the couch with a bunch of other people, hunched over the table in front of them as they snort up white powder. He just looks the other way and continues on downstairs.

Dan sees Sam in the corner with another female, both of them handsy with each other as they down the rest of there cocktails and he pretends to not notice that Sam’s hand is essentially down the bottoms of the other but he’ll just turn the other way again and walk off.

As he turns, he slams into something and gasps as the cool liquid of his drink splashes against his chest. “Fuck,” he murmurs. This was his good Gucci shirt and now it’s covered in orange liquid. If he wasn’t slightly tipsy, he might have tried to find an unoccupied bathroom to wash it off.

“Are you okay?”

Dan lets out a sigh. He’s sobered up a bit now and he’s suddenly realizing how uncomfortable of a situation he’s probably just put himself into. He’s on a rich guys yacht and he just ran into someone and fucked his shirt up. Not to mention he thinks the glass just shattered on the floor—and _yep, it has _he confirms in his head as he looks down at the broken glass at his feet.

Of course his luck would run this way. And he didn’t even take any photos from tonight either to post on his Instagram. Go figure.

“I mean, my shirt is ruined,” Dan says, his words a mumble under his breath.

“It was last years anyway,” the man says, his voice a bit high pitched. “I’m sure you can get a new one tomorrow that is from this season.”

Dan just shrugged.

“Do you want help getting cleaned up?” He continued, lending out his hand. “I have a private bathroom this way that you can wash up in. Get the smell of the Peach Bellini from your shirt.”

Oh. It was a Peach Bellini…oops.

So much for the mango and melon he thought he tasted earlier.

“It’s not a problem,” Dan says. “I don’t need to clean it off. It actually looks a bit cooler this way.”

The man lets out a snort and reaches up, running his hand through his hair.

“Such a shame,” the male continues. “My plan didn’t work to get you half-naked.”

Dan looks up from where his hands are trying to smooth out the wet patch on his shirt. He cocks an eyebrow up and looks the man up and down. Sharp pants, fully ironed Versace top, clearly this seasons. Glasses sit prettily on his face that’s a sculpture of sharp, jutted cheekbones.

“Why? Is that something you’d want?” Dan asks, deciding to play along.

The male was beautiful, actually quite breathtaking. He knows he said earlier that he wouldn’t want to sleep with a random bloke but maybe plans change. And maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t mind crawling into bed with _this _random bloke.

“Is it something _you’d _want?” The man asks, reaching out his hand again and touching Dan’s arm with the lightest touch.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Where do we go?” Dan asks, biting his lip with a smirk playing on his lips.

“Follow me.”

Dan follows the man down a small path until they reach a set of doors and Dan swears he doesn’t believe he’s still on a moving boat and he’s not in some penthouse somewhere in London. The male pushes the door open and he’s being lead into a bedroom with beautiful decor and a round bed in the center, covered in pillows and various other decorations.

But it was nearly pitch black. All that he could see or make out was from the light of the windows from the yacht and the moon in the sky hanging over them. When he looks up at the male, all he can see is the reflection of himself and the blue eyes staring back at him.

The man turns Dan and suddenly he’s on the bed on his back and his shirt is being removed and tossed to the floor as their lips connect quickly. It feels real, it feels right. He feels the fire burning under his skin and the itch crawling up his spine.

As the man lowers his shorts and leaves him fully naked, he touches a spot on Dan’s hip and Dan hears him speak softly. “This is the prettiest little tattoo although your skin is much too pretty to be marked up forever.”

Dan forgets about his tattoo most of the time. If he’s being honest, he regrets getting it in a lot of ways. But when he was 18 and a few drinks in, he thought getting a tattoo of a delicate rose on his hip was a great idea.

“I was young.”

“How young?”

“Eighteen.” Dan answers, letting his words get lost against the other males.

“And how old are you now?”

“Twenty five.”

“Still young.”

Dan just chuckled against his lips and connected them again as they got more and more heated.

Maybe in hindsight, this was never Dan’s best decision. He should know better than sleeping with a random man at a party. But when a man this attractive begins to swoop in and steal him over, he can’t help but be ready to spread his legs and let the man do what he wants to.

So that’s what he does.

He moans louder than he should. His breaths get caught in his throat and the male is just so good at this. Good at sex. The way he moves, the way he touches. Dan has never felt so good in his life and he begins to feel a bit addicted to the feeling. He presses all of Dan’s buttons in the best way possible. He’s relentless, his thrusts not stopping in rhythm.

When he climaxes, his whole body feels it. His back arches and his arms go rigid as they grip at the sheets. His mouth opens in a silent moan as it’s caught by the mans expert mouth. When it’s over, the man fucks him a bit longer before pulling out and finishing across Dan’s stomach.

It’s dirty. It’s raw. When it’s over, Dan doesn’t feel as great as he did when it began. Guilt and shame begins to eat away at him at how _easy _he was to fall into bed with this random stranger who he will never see again.

The man kisses him for a little bit longer than Dan would like but he can’t deny that the sparks aren’t still there. It’s like fireworks are constantly going off above his head and he’s feeling the electricity in his veins.

But then when it’s over, it’s over. And Dan collects his soiled shirt and swim trunks and leaves the bedroom as the man begins to put his own clothes back on. He’ll probably bring another person into the room after Dan leaves and for some reason, that thought leaves Dan feeling a pit of vulnerability in his core.

Just as he’s about to open the door, the man stops him. “What’s your name? I didn’t get it.”

Without even thinking, Dan looks at the man and says. “Ethan.”

Then he opens the door and walks out. Ignoring the pang in his chest that told him it was a mistake giving the man a fake name.

The yacht is docked when he gets out and he manages to find Samantha outside against a railing with another handsy female. He wrenches her away from the girl with an apology and she shoots the girl an apologetic glance as they leave off the yacht and make their way past all of the people staring and getting photos of the party that was still in full bloom.

When they’re safely away from the water and about to get into a cab to head to one of Sam’s many family homes, Sam asks him, “What made you leave so fast? Something happen.”

Dan shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. His shirt was no longer wet but it was definitely stained and it definitely reeked of bad alcohol now.

“I saw you go to bed with Phil Lester.” Sam said, hitting his arm. “Were you not going to tell me this?”

“I didn’t go into bed with Phil Lester,” Dan counters. “I don’t even know who he is.”

Sam turned to him, her eyes comically wide. “You’re yanking my leg.”

“I’m not yanking anything!”

Sam suddenly pulled out her cell phone and unlocked it to do a quick google search of ‘Phil Lester’ and as soon as his photo popped up, Dan’s mouth fell open and he felt like he was going to cry. “Fuck, Sam! I had sex with Phil Lester!”

“You guys fucked?” Sam asked, her vulgarity coming out through her disbelief. “How was he? Was he hung? Was he lame? All the rich guys are normally rigid as fuck.”

“He was bloody amazing,” Dan said. “But that’s not the point. I fucked up Sam.”

“How?” Sam asked. “How could you possibly have fucked this up? You took fucking Phil Lester to bed.”

“I gave him a fake name.”

Sam turns her head, her mouth agape. “You’re a fucking idiot!”

“I didn’t know!” Dan cried. “I didn’t know that’s who he was!”

She slapped his arm and he let out a soft ow as he rubbed where she just hit. “I still don’t understand how you’ve never seen Phil Lester.”

“Because I never paid any attention to him, Sam.” Dan moaned out. “He was never on my list of people to research. He makes clothing that’s too expensive for me to even touch.”

“So even when I told you yesterday we were going to a party on his yacht, you never once googled who he was?” Sam asked, her voice a bit incredulous.

“Being honest, no,” Dan said. “I just… fuck.”

Sam nodded. “I can’t believe you fucked this up.”

Just then, the taxi pulls up. But it’s not really a taxi, it’s a small black cab that Dan knows Sam’s family paid for. The driver gets out and opens the door for them and they get into the back. He reaches up and rubs over his face, down his neck, reaching for his necklace to twist but suddenly, he feels nothing.

“Oh my god, Sam!” Dan cried, sitting up, running his hands all over his chest. “My necklace is gone!”

“Your necklace?” She clarified, looking up from her phone long enough to make eye-contact with him. “The one your grandmother gave you?”

Dan nodded, feeling tears spring to his eyes. This night couldn’t have gone any worse and now he’s about to start crying over the damn necklace that was _supposed _to be around his neck. Fuck, it must have fallen off somewhere.

“Yeah!” Dan said. “I don’t have it on.”

“Did you take it off somewhere?”

Dan shook his head and the car sped off down the narrow road towards the cliffs. “No,” He whimpered. “I don’t know what happened to it.”

“Did you lose it in his bed?”

Dan leaned his head back against the seat and let out a loud groan because _fuck _he probably did. It’s probably laying in the middle of Phil’s sheets right now and he’s looking like a fool because of it.

“If you want to try and find it, we can turn back and head back to the party?”

Dan shook his head. “Phil’s probably fucking someone on it right now.”

He knew his words sounded bitter after everything that happened but he felt like he had to be bitter for a moment. It felt like the natural reaction to how his night has went.

“Hey, don’t get like that, hun.” Sam says, putting her phone into her Louis Vuitton fanny pack and comforting him. “I’ll get someone to contact Phil tomorrow and ask for the necklace. It’s not big deal.”

Dan nods and closes his eyes.

_It’s not a big deal. _He repeats in his head. _It’s not a big deal._


	2. Chapter 2

**Phil’s POV**

Phil awoke with a startle in tangled sheets with the screaming of his alarm coming from a distance. He groans to himself and rolls a bit as he tries to figure out where he put his glasses last night and where he put his phone. He knew from the slight swaying that he had stayed the night on his yacht but that didn’t mean he was able to forget all of his current obligations.

His head was pounding and there was a steady pressure behind his eyes as he found his glasses and pushed them on, sitting up in bed. His duvet gathered down onto his lap and he looked around to see if he could find his still screaming phone. He hated early morning meetings and he was definitely hating that he had one for this morning.

He finds his phone in a mountain of blankets and he manages to turn off the alarm long enough to see he has a missed call from Geoffrey. He quickly dials him back and puts it on speaker as he stands up and walks to his closet where he pulls out a fresh pressed button down and a pair of newly steamed slacks.

He’s putting them on as Geoffrey answers and begins going off about this months quotas.

“We’ve doubled our profit in the last month,” Geoffrey begins. “I was going to wait to talk about this at the meeting in an hour but I wanted to share the good news with you.”

“Glad to know our focus on LGBT families paid off. It was an endorsement close with my heart so I’m glad to see it work.”

Phil puts his phone on speaker and sits back on his bed again, smoothing out his shirt and pants with his palm. When had so many wrinkles shown up in his clothing? He should really learn how to steam and iron his own clothes and stop relying on other places to do so.

His call with Geoffrey continues until Phil ends it to shower and get ready as he lays back on the bed and squeezes the bridge of his nose between his fingers. A headache was beginning to take residence in his temple and he wasn’t appreciating it. Sure, he could pop a few paracetamol and call it a morning but he also probably needs some water and a proper shower first too.

Phil lets out a loud sigh and rolls on his side, snuggling back into his pillows for a moment when he feels something sharp jab into his ribcage. He hisses, sitting up quickly as he reaches under where he was sat for the intruding object. He moves his hand around for a moment before coming into contact with a chain.

He picks it up in his hand and studies it for a second. It’s a necklace with a a small ring on the chain. He looks at it closer and it’s nothing like anything he’s ever owned. He’s puzzled to say the least. Phil’s not sure where this came from and why it ended up in his bed.

Then it hits him.

Ethan.

It had to be Ethan’s right?

Phil thinks back to the night before. He doesn’t remember a lot of it, that’s definitely sure. But he does remember the chocolate eyes with matching curly hair. He remembers how lovely those lips felt against his and how pliant and soft he was around him.

Fuck, he was beginning to get hard in his pants remembering just how incredible Ethan was. He reaches down and squeezes himself, willing to stave off the need to get off for just a bit but all the touch serves to do is make him more eager to get off.

He pulls down his pants low enough to pull his cock out of its confines and give himself a few strokes. He lets out a breath through his nose and a moan threatens to break through his lips.

Ethan was just so…_great. _And it wasn’t even the sex that Phil was thinking about, even though that was definitely the blunt of it in his head right now as he stroked faster. Phil can still feel his breaths against his skin and his nails digging into his arms. He can still feel how warm he was around him and how soft his walls were when they squeezed him tightly.

He strokes a bit faster and feels the heat pooling in his abdomen as he finishes with a rush of air and an arch of his back. He lays his head back on the bed and shuts his eyes. He can still see Ethan in his head when he closes his eyes, see the way his tattoo sat on his hip.

His tattoo was beautiful, Phil supposes. But Phil doesn’t think a man that beautiful should have a tattoo. Not that having tattoos was bad, but just that Phil believed that Ethan was like a marble statue and his body shouldn’t be marked up like that.

Now that Ethan’s in his head, Phil can’t get him out. He sits up, tucks himself back in, and stands up from the bed. He grabs the necklace from where it laid beside him and sat it down on his bedside table.

Hand now sticky, he frowns and figures this is a good time to go to the shower so he walks to his bathroom and takes a quick shower. The shower isn’t ideal like it in is his flat but it works for the purpose of getting him clean. His chest is still heaving and he’s still a hit out of breath.

Afterwards, Phil gets dressed in his clothes and goes to meet his driver out on the dock. As he’s getting ready to leave his yacht for the time being, he sees Ethan’s necklace out of the corner of his eye and he quickly grabs it and stuffs it into his pocket. He doesn’t want something happening to it.

Phil leaves his yacht and makes his way to his car with his driver. Once inside, he answers some of the emails and important messages he’s neglected over the weekend and then decides to check out social media.

Phil wasn’t one to say a lot on social media. All he had was a twitter and most of the time, he didn’t tweet from it himself. He had his personal assistant do so. Of course, his personal assistant was off for the weekend and he’d been meeting up with them again now at the office so his twitter had gone a bit quiet.

He scrolls through twitter and suddenly gets the idea to search for Ethan. He doesn’t know his last name. But he does know what he looks like and his first name so maybe by some slim chance, he can find his twitter. That way he can message him about his necklace.

But there is also something panting in Phil’s chest. When he thinks of Ethan, despite their short encounter, he can’t help but feel his heart flutter a bit. He’s used to having one night stands with men. But Ethan was different. There was something about Ethan’s cunning nature and his cheeky smile that made Phil want to get into contact with him again. He wanted nothing more than to spend another night with the mysterious male.

All too fast, he’s at one of the many headquarters for his business. This one just happened to be the Italian one. He’s greeted at the door by his colleagues and his personal assistant Jeanna waiting for him. Jeanna is already telling him about how his meeting is in fifteen minutes and how he has a phone call with someone at 1pm and Phil’s head spins a bit.

He should be used to all of this but he doesn’t think he ever will be.

Instead, he heads straight for the conference room and ends up sitting at the head of the table with a coffee and some cookies waiting for him and the other workers filing in, ready to fill their own seats. There is a PowerPoint screen behind Phil and he already knows someone is gonna present something to him and he groans inwardly at the thought. He dislikes meetings so much. He wishes he never had to attend but it’s only business, he supposed.

The meeting starts by Geoffrey greeting them all and standing up in his chair. “As you all already know, our sales quota is up 15% since we started showing LGBT families in our advertisements. I think displaying LGBT families shows people that this is the norm and our clothing is going to show that.”

Another male that Phil doesn’t know the name of raises his hand. “So does this mean our clothing is going to be LGBT aimed now?”

The male seems a bit temperamental. Phil doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that at all.

“With all do respect,” Phil chimes in causing everyone to turn and divert their attention to him. “Our primary sales for our clothing are young adults between the ages of 18-25.Therefore, we shouldn’t be marketing LGBT as a way for our sales to increase. Our sales are doing fine. But our target audience is seeing us include LGBT themes and they’re seeing it’s normal. Because it should be normal.”

The males eyes get a bit wide as he slouches back in his leather seat and folds his arms over the table. Phil cocks an eyebrow.

“You’re all well aware that I’m gay,” Phil says, as if that would come as a surprise. He’s sure that most of the world knows he’s gay. “My former partner Lukas and I were the ones that founded this company.”

Everyone nods and Geoffrey clears his throat, adjusting his tie a bit as if he’s uncomfortable. Phil knows it’s not about the topic at hand, but mostly because Geoffrey always hated confrontation, much like Phil. But Phil’s not afraid to defend his company if he needs to. He built this company from the ground up.

“On other news,” Geoffrey begins. “I think we should also begin to talk about next seasons line as fall is approaching soon.”

The meeting draws on for far longer than Phil would have liked hut by the end of it, they had all discussed new advertising techniques and how they were going to market their next season. They also discussed target pieces like clothes and themes for the material and Phil was told by his colleague Drew—or Dre, Phil couldn’t remember, that they would begin looking into the production.

Phil makes his way out of the conference room with Jeanna at his side, reminding him about the 1pm phone call that he had to make and he was honestly fed up with the idea of having to make said phone call. So he asked Jeanna to take it instead and then he asks to be alone and sits in his office.

He has mounds of paperwork to do and his computer has a bunch of emails and files he should be looking at. But he can’t be bothered because every time he tries to think, his mind is plagued by Ethan and his beautiful eyes.

Phil can’t stop thinking about him and the necklace in his pocket feels like it’s burning a hole through Phil’s trousers. He reaches down and feels it, breathing in a sigh. He should begin looking for Ethan.

But would he even see Ethan again?

His head begins to pound again and he bends over, rifling in a drawer in his desk as he finds a packet of paracetamol and he opens it, pouring the two pills in his hand. He takes his mug of cold coffee and swallows down the two pills, wincing at the stale taste.

Just as he’s getting ready to rest back in his chair, Jeanna knocks on the door and Phil calls for her to come in. She comes in with her tablet in hand and takes a seat in front of him. “So I took your phone call for you like you asked and it was a clothing company called Luxor. They were hoping to do a future collaboration on some pieces since they specialize in jackets and tailored blazers.”

Phil sighs. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s what I told them too.” She says with a nod. “I told them we would get back to them about it.”

Phil lets out a long sigh and then looks at the perky blonde in front of him. Jeanna is a nice girl. She really is. But sometimes Phil thinks she tries a bit too hard to impress him. Phil’s already impressed by her skills and how well she follows directions. Not to mention she’s much more organized than he would ever be. She doesn’t need to try as hard as she does.

But Phil doesn’t say that. He just smiles and nods at her and then asks if she can go through his emails and star the important ones he should look at. She agrees and Phil tells her he’ll let her know if he needs anything else. He doubts he will though.

Just as she shuts the door, it’s opening again and Geoffrey is walking in. His hair is slicked back and his suit is a bit ruffled by Phil excuses it.

“So how was the party last night?” He asks, takinga seat across form Phil as he leans back in his chair and throws his feet on Phil’s desk.

Phil just laughs. “It was party.”

“How fucked up did you get?” Geoffrey asked with a smirk. “Be honest.”

“I didn’t.” Phil smirked. “You know I don’t do that anymore. Not since…”

The words _not since Lukas has been gone_ sit on his tongue but he doesn’t finish the thought. He tries not to think about his past if he doesn’t half to. It’s partly why he throws his parties: because there has always been one person willing to sleep with him to help him get his mind off from everything.

Geoffrey chuckled. “Who did you go to bed with?” He asked. “Any nice blokes?”

Phil scoffs. Not only at his words but also at how Geoffrey phrased it.

“One nice bloke.” Phil said. “He told me his name was Ethan but he was incredible.”

“Incredible?” Geoffrey asked.

Phil nodded. “I can’t get him out of my head.”

“Good or bad?”

“A bit of both.” Phil answers honestly. “It’s just...I can’t stop thinking about him.” Phil lets out a sigh. “The first time I ever met Lukas, I felt sparks and I knew instantly I wanted to get to know him better. Since Lukas is gone, it’s been so long since I’ve felt that with someone else. And last night, I think I felt them again.”

“With this guy?” Geoffrey clarified and Phil modded. “Did you get the guys number?”

Phil shook his head. “He didn’t seem too keen on staying.” He said, his voice a bit sad. “He quickly got up and dressed and then left. I asked for his name and he told me it was Ethan.”

Phil reaches down to put his hands on his thighs and he suddenly was shocked with the memory that he still had Ethan’s necklace in his pocket.

“His necklace also fell off in my bed last night...”

“Wow, that rough, Lester? Nice!”

“Shut it,” Phil chuckled. “But I found it this morning and I want to give it back to him. But I’m not sure where to find him.”

“You didn’t get a last name, you don’t know this guys number, and all you have is his necklace?” Geoffrey asked.

Phil nods.

“You’re fucked mate.”

Phil lets out a loud sigh and puts his head in his hands because he knows he is but it feels even worse when someone else is saying it. He knows that there isn’t much he’s going to be able to do but even if a chance encounter like last night leads to him being with Ethan again, he’ll take it.

Geoffrey offers for them to go to lunch and since Phil probably could use the food, he agrees to go. The headache in his temple is still there but it’s slowly diminishing and his bones still feel a bit like jelly. But he knows sitting in his office all day won’t help that any.

When lunch is done and Phil checks in on Jeanna one last time, he decides to go back to his home for the day instead of his yacht. He didn’t feel like spending another night sleeping on it. He texts Jeanna quickly to call for a cleaner for it and then he calls for his driver to take him to his home on the Amalfi Coast.

It wasn’t as big as his London penthouse but it was enough for him to stay for a few months out of the year to work in Italy a few months out the year despite his company being based in the UK.

Getting to this house, he walks inside the big double doors and heads upstairs for his bedroom, eager to lie down and spend the rest of his day resting. As he lays down in bed, pants and button down still on, he rolls onto his side and feels the necklace press into his thigh.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out, looking it over again. When he closes his eyes, he can see Ethan wearing it around his neck when they first met. It’s a bit funny actually, Phil supposes. It wouldn’t be a lie for Phil to say that him spilling his drink was a perfect opportunity for them to meet.

Phil had intended to go up to him, that much was true. But it also just so happened that he turned at the same time Phil stood up from his chair and they collided. Maybe fate had really brought them together, he’s not entirely sure.

He tosses the necklace onto his bedside stand and closes his eyes.

He’ll take a quick nap and then figure out what to do later.


	3. Chapter 3

**DAN POV **

“I got an email from a company called Luxor.” 

The breeze is blowing through Dan’s curls as he pushes his hand through them and shuffled them a bit on top of his head. They were sat on the balcony just outside of Sam’s room, overlooking the coast. The mist from the water kept kissing his skin, leaving his cheeks a bit dewey. 

Sam looks up at him, tucking a stray strand of her wavy red hair behind her ear. She’s wearing her glasses this morning and although Dan’s seen her with them often, he knows that if she were to be photographed like that right now, she would definitely be seen as ‘over-casual’. But truth was Sam was nearly blind. 

She wraps her lanky arms around her knees and draws them closer to her chest as her shorts ride up her thighs a bit. She sniffles a bit and wipes at her nose before finally opening her mouth to say something to Dan. 

“Not impressive.” 

“Oh?” 

Sam shrugs again and lets her feet down from the edge of the chair, putting them on the floor. “Luxor is just another stereotypical clothing brand.” 

“But the email seems promising.” 

Dan scrolled a bit further down the email where they said they would love to meet up with him at their London office to talk about negotiations for a potential contract deal between them. To say Dan was intrigued was an understatement. He was used to companies reaching out to him for his large Instagram presence but he often doesn’t get anything that pays him anywhere near what Luxor would probably pay him. 

He lets out a sigh and looks back out at the coast. In the distance, he can see boats of all kinds: yachts, sail boats, everything. Dan takes in a deep breath, holds it, and then lets it go as he relaxes his shoulders. 

He’s actually feeling pretty lucky that he wasn’t too hungover this morning. He definitely cannot say the same for Sam who currently looked like death ran over her twice but he can at least say he’s feeling better. 

Although, the tinge in his backside was definitely an indication of his night last night. He wouldn’t even be entirely sure that the night was real if it wasn’t for that light ache in his lower back. If he closes his eyes, he can still feel everything and it makes his skin tingle. 

“It’s up to you,” Sam says, drumming her fingers against the side of her chair. Her finger nails made a pleasing yet slightly obnoxious clicking every time they hit the metal. “But I don’t think Luxor is worth it.” 

Dan shrugs. “I’ll think about it.” 

Sam shrugs again and leans down, resting her chin against the railing of the balcony. 

“How are you feeling?” Dan asks her, knowing full well that she isn’t feeling the best. She follows his question by another shrug—she must be in that mood today—and then sits up. She reaches into her hoodie pocket and fishes out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out and placing it between her lips as she lights it. 

“Does that answer your question?” She asks with a chuckle. “I’m hungover as fuck and I have a headache thats bigger than the whole of the UK.” 

Dan lets out a soft chuckles and reaches over, rubbing her arm gently. She twitches for a second and then laughs. “We’re a mess.” 

“And that’s why we’re best friends.” 

“Because we’re both hot messes?” Sam asks with a lighthearted chuckle. 

Dan nods and lets out a loud snort as he reaches for the table in front of him and picks up his cold coffee and takes a sip. 

Sam finishes her cigarette and puts it out in the ash tray that she has hidden under her chair. She then lets out a loud groan and stretches up before she kicks her long legs out in front of her and stands up. “Let’s go.” 

“Where?” Dan asks. 

He knows its the afternoon, but he’s didn’t know they had any plans. 

“Lets go swimming.” 

She extends her hand out and Dan takes in as she lifts him up and forces him back inside the doors to her bedroom and they get dressed to go out. She calls for a cab via the PA system she has in her room and then they leave to go towards the beach. 

***

“We couldn’t get ahold of Phil Lester.” 

They’re sat on the beach, the warm summer breeze blowing in their hair. People are walking all around them and Dan is digging his toes into the hot sand. 

“Oh?” 

Sam nods with a sympathetic look. She’s got her hair tossed up in messy double braids now and her freckles are darkening in the sun. Dan reckons that Sam is actually quite pretty. And if he was attracted to females, he’s sure he would jumped on the opportunity to be with her. But it’s just not something that would have worked. 

They tried...once. When they were newly eighteen and Dan was still figuring out if he liked girls. They met at a club while Dan was on a trip to Ibiza with his university friends for a vacation. Dan had no idea who Sam was when they first met but they shared a few drinks and found themselves to be natural friends. 

Dan tries to forget about how they tried to have sex once and he totally failed at it, panicking just as Sam undressed. And it wasn’t even like a genuine panic, it was more that he knew this wasn’t what he wanted and the thought of it was unsettling to him. Sam didn’t mind, and despite the first few hours being a bit weird, they can laugh about it now. 

“I asked Gillian to get ahold of Jeanna Trombley who is Phil Lester’s personal assistant. She takes all of his calls and everything. And she tried but Jeanna said that Phil Lester was far too busy right now to answer a call about a missing possession so...sorry, babes.” 

Dan feels a bit of sadness willing in his chest. He pulls his knees up to his chest and lays his cheek on his knees, turning his head towards Sam. She reaches out and puts a hand on his back and rubs it and that simple act is enough to make him sniffle and will himself not to cry right now. 

“I’m sure you’ll get it back one day.” 

“How?” Dan asks. “He doesn’t even know my real name and I doubt he even remembers me.” 

“My dad is good friends with Phil Lester, in case you didn’t know.” Sam juts in. “He does a lot of business deals and in return, he often offers Phil a place to stay in our hotels in a private executive suite just for him. I’m sure I can ask him to see if he can even talk to Phil.” 

Dan lets out a scoff. He _know _Sam’s dad wouldn’t ever do anything like that. 

“He probably is keeping it as a trophy.” 

“A trophy?” Sam asks, clarifying. 

Dan nods. “Yeah, like, _oh I fucked this guys brains out and his necklace fell off so I’m going to keep this to remind of that night. _You know, that kind of a trophy.” 

“I don’t think Phil would be that selfish.” Sam says, furrowing her brows. “I’ve met him before...I mean, I don’t think...” She stutters on her words. “Yes, it’s true that there are times where Phil can be a bit cold hearted but I don’t think he’d keep someone else’s possession for a trophy.” 

Dan shrugged. His skin was feeling a bit hot and he was beginning to feel a bit sweaty and gross. Sam let out a sigh. “I don’t know what else you want to do, Dan.” She says, her words cutting through to him. “There isn’t much to do at this point. Honestly, I would just let the necklace go. For all we know, maybe you didn’t lose it in his bed. Maybe you lost it on the dock or somewhere else in the yacht. You’re just thinking of the worst case scenarios right now.” 

Dan swallows and reluctantly nods because Sam was right. But he didn’t want to admit it. The necklace was still something that meant a lot to him and it wasn’t easy for him to come to the realization that he might have to part with it. 

“Come on, lets go swimming.” She says, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. “There is no point getting all pissy right now. It’s our last here. Let’s make the most of it.” 

Dan lets a smirk take over his lips and he dips his head down as he allows for her to drag him into the warm Mediterranean water. 

***

They ended up in a club somewhere, the music blasting and the lights strobing all around them. Dan’s got a few drinks down and Sam has a few more downed and they’re well past sober. Sam is dancing with some random guy in the crowd and Dan is dancing a bit off to the side where their table of empty drinks and cups are. He’s downed his third mixed drink and he’s reaching for a test tube shot from someone walking around the dance floor. He reckons he should be a bit more responsible but he’s also way past the point of giving any fucks whatsoever. 

The guy with Sam gets a bit handsier with her and Dan looks protectively to make sure she’s okay. And she definitely is by the way she’s kissing up and down the Adonis’s neck. Dan watches her for a few moments before she takes the mans hand and winds her way through to their table. 

“I’m leaving with Nick so you know the drill.” 

And Dan does. If Sam doesn’t text him within three hours of leaving, he needs to call her and etc...

He gives her a smile and watches her leave out the door with this fit guy as he left stood alone with an empty test tube shot and another one coming his way. He’s tempted to reach for it but he’s stopped when someone comes up next to him. 

“You’re looking a bit lonely over here.” 

Dan turns and makes eye-contact with a beautiful tanned male stood in front of him. His knees go a bit weak and he feels already the tell-tale signs of arousal spinning in his stomach at looking at the attractive male. His voice was sugary sweet in the best way possible and his bright green eyes shone directly into Dan’s brown. 

“Maybe.” Dan answers, smirking a bit. 

“You’re too cute to be lonely,” The male says. “I’m surprised no one else has snagged you up yet.” 

Dan shrugged. “Most people can’t handle me.” 

“Handle you?” 

Dan nods, playing along. “I’m a bit more than people can normally handle.” 

“Is that so?” The man asks, moving a forward. “Show me.” 

Dan reaches out and takes the mans hand in his palm and drags him into the middle of the crowded dance floor. He knows the man probably thought Dan meant he was going to drop to his knees and blow him in the middle of the floor but this was nicer. 

He wrapped his arms loosely around the mans neck and they swayed together as the mans hands placed themselves firmly on Dan’s hips. 

“What’s your name?” Dan asks. 

“Ivan. Yours?” 

“Dan.” 

Ivan smiles at him and leans down, pressing his lips against Dan’s neck and sucking a bit onto the tender skin. Dan’s breath hitched and he let out a low moan as he clung in closer to Ivan and let him suck continuous kisses onto his neck. 

They left, not long after. Dan shot Sam a text saying he was going home with a guy too and the fact that she replied with a thumbs up emoji made him chuckle a little bit. They took a taxi to the guys home, which was a small little villa on the coast. 

Once inside, it didn’t take long for the heat between them to intermix with the heat of the night. Dan shimmied off his clothing somewhere in Ivan’s living room and Ivan’s pants found their way with his as well. 

Dan went down on him, sucking him off the best he could but by the second round “Yes! Suck that cock!” came from Ivan’s mouth, he was getting to feel a bit less excited about what was happening. 

He still very much wanted to have sex, that was definitely still true. But somewhere in the back of his head as he swung his legs over Ivan’s hips and seated himself on top, he could still hear Phil’s voice and feel his hands on his skin. Ivan’s hands felt bigger, and colder. Phil’s were soft and gentle, warm to the touch like they were sear Dan’s skin if they were left too long. 

It took Dan a lot longer to get off with Ivan. Ivan finished pretty fast and then proceeded to let Dan ride him until he finished. But by the time Dan was close, his thighs were aching and he was beginning to feel like this was more a chore than actually getting himself off. 

He came with a whimper and then pushed off from Ivan, landing beside him on the bed. Ivan kissed him, softly one last time, before Dan pushed off and told him he needed to get going. _My friend is probably worried. _He lied. 

He grabbed his clothing and dressed as fast as he could. He used Sam’s contact to call for a taxi and he waited outside for it and jumped in as soon as they came. When he got to Sam’s home, she was inside too, sitting on her bed wiping off her melted make up. 

“Was your night a bust too?” She joked, the remnants of black mascara on her cheeks. 

“Kind of.” 

Sam chuckled. “Nick came after a few seconds and then blacked out on me. I was back here within an hour.” 

“Ivan was okay but it took me a while to finish.” 

She sucked in a breath. “Oh no.” 

Dan looked at her and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh no, what?’ 

She shook her head. “Was it because you were thinking about a certain someone instead?” 

“Don’t be daft.” Dan says with a laugh. 

“Your red spot on your cheek just got darker. You’re lying.” 

Dan felt his cheeks light up more “I wasn’t thinking about Phil!” 

She shrugged back and the conversation ended. 

He fell asleep next to Sam in her bed that night and in the morning, a private cab was waiting for them to take them to the airport where they would catch Sam’s family’s private jet back to London. 

It was bittersweet for Dan as he watched the plane lift off out the window. He really felt as if a part of him was being left behind in Amalfi and he knew that part of him was currently in Phil Lester’s hands. 

***

Dan went back to his flat in London with a heavy feeling in his chest. He threw his suitcase down on the floor of his living room and then collapsed on his couch. Sam said she would be over a bit later for take out but he was really enjoying the time alone right now. 

He pulls out his laptop from his bag, the first time he’s done it the week he’d been gone. He finds his browser is open to his emails and he refreshes the page and looks at the Luxor email, still sitting proudly at the top of the list. 

He reads it over again and sees that they want him to be a brand model for their Instagram page. They want him to model their clothing on their Instagram and his own and they would compensate him for it. He could easily do that. 

Shooting back an email, he agrees to whatever they want him to do and he asks if he can meet up at their headquarters in London sometime this next week. He closes his laptop down and waits for their reply just as soon as a text appears on his phone. 

**Sam: **Phil’s assistant just got back. Says Phil doesn’t have your necklace. He only has one that belongs to a guy named Ethan...

**Sam: **I tried to tell her it was probably yours but Phil is adamant on not giving up the necklace to anyone besides Ethan...

Dan felt tears rush to his eyes and he wiped them away stubbornly with the regret of what he did that night with Phil. 

Because fuck Phil Lester and fuck everything else too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates every Saturday around 1pm EST


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings: Mentions of a violent death (very very brief)**

**PHIL POV**

“Jeanna, cancel all of my calls for the rest of the day.”

“Any reason I should give for the sudden cancellations?”

“I just don’t want to do them.”

Phil stoped holding down the button on the intercom to Jeanna’s office and walked back over to his desk. It’s been two days now since everything happened and nothing is getting simpler.

For one, he’s currently in the midst of working out a contract for collaborating with the brand Luxor and that was a hassle in itself since their office is in London but he’s in Amalfi until this weekend. Secondly, he’s been busy trying to figure out why Jeanna was getting calls from the Pamupau family asking about a damn necklace that he didn’t have.

Phil was exhausted. Mentally and physically. His head was filling with headaches constantly and his bones ached with fatigue. He didn’t even know why he was so tired. It wasn’t like he was doing anything outside of his normal routine.

Maybe it was the stress of that damn silver necklace that currently sits in his trouser pockets.

He shouldn’t be holding onto it, he realizes this. Phil knows that there is a chance it could fall out of his pocket or just wind up missing. And he really doesn’t want to lose one of the only pieces he has left of the night with Ethan.

“Mr. Lester?”

The intercom in his office buzzed and Phil let out a loud groan as he walked up and back over to the door to press the button. “Yes, Jeanna?”

“Timothy Duvey from Luxor just called and is asking for your urgent call to them. They would like to schedule a meeting with you in their London office to discuss design concepts.” Her voice came through the speaker but to Phil it just sounded like scratches on a record.

“Right now?”

“Yes. I have him on hold on line 4.”

Phil took his finger off from the button again and walked back to his desk. He picked up the phone and pressed line 4 and tried his best to act like he wasn’t currently wanting to slam his head into the wall.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lester. I suppose I’m not interrupting anything, I am?”

His voice was smooth and Phil liked that. He found sometimes that the smoother, charmer voices from those who worked with were better to compromise with.

“Not entirely,” Phil answers honestly. “But I suppose this is a bit more important than anything else I could be doing right now.”

He hopes that the sarcasm lacing his voice isn’t as prominent as he thinks it is.

“When is the next time you’ll be in London?” Timothy asks.

“I’ll be back in three days.” Phil answers. “I fly back in on the 27th.”

There was a pause over the line for a moment before Timothy continue to speak. “Is there any way that we could get you to London earlier for the meeting? You see, I leave town on the 26th and I would like to be able to meet with you sooner.”

Phil felt like he was pulling teeth in this situation but he also didn’t want to completely deny the CEO of Luxor this opportunity. Luxor was a high fashion brand just like Phil’s and working with them on a collaboration would boost both of their sales tremendously.

“I can come back tomorrow if that works for you.” Phil says, mincing his words a bit.

“Tomorrow would be fantastic if you can make it back.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Phil stands up from his desk, the chord of the phone getting tighter and shorter as he begins to clear paperwork from his desk and organize it a bit. He puts the phone between his shoulder and ear and continues to listen to Timothy talk about some details he won’t remember once the call ends.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sure thing.” Phil says and hangs up the phone.

He walks over to the intercom and calls through, “Jeanna? I need you to call me a car home.”

And then he walks back to his desk and grabs his bag and jacket.

***

“You have your meeting with Luxor at 2 and then you have a phone call with Harpers Bazaar at 4:15 to set up a meeting for their interview with you. Then at…”

Phil stopped listening to Jeanna as she went on and on. They had just arrived back to London, much earlier than he had actually wanted to. And there was a small stress headache taking residence in his temple.

He just wanted to sleep mostly and have a big cup of coffee, extra spots in there. He feels like he’s walking on dead feet, that his legs aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing. He wants to call the whole thing off but then he remembers just how much working with Luxor will help his company and he forgets he ever thought those thoughts.

Minutes pass and they’re at Phil’s penthouse and he couldn’t wait to go up the elevator and indulge in his belongings again. His house in Amalfi was nice but nothing as nice as his penthouse in London.

They get into the elevator and head their way up when Jeanna starts speaking again. “So the Pamupau family is requesting that you speak with them about a necklace that was left on your yacht from your party on the 22nd.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “I don’t have a necklace that was left on my yacht that would belong to them.”

“But what about the one you carry with you?’

Phil turns sharply towards her and flares his nostrils. “How did you find out about that?”

“I heard people in the office talking about how you have the necklace of someone from your party and you wanted to return it. Maybe that necklace is the one they’re asking about?”

Phil shakes his head in both annoyance and disbelief. “I don’t have a necklace that belongs to them. I have a necklace that belongs to a guy named Ethan.”

“I’ve tried, Mr. Lester, but they’re insisting _you _have it.”

The elevator doors open on the 25th floor and they walk out into the small area that transitions into Phil’s living room. Phil drops his bag onto the floor next to his couch and turns to Jeanna. “I don’t have _their _necklace.” He says, his voice steady. “The only one I have is for a guy named Ethan and I’d very much like to return the necklace back to _him.”_

_“_But if the necklace isn’t theirs,” Jeanna continues, following him inside as the tapping of her heels echoes against his flooring. “Then shouldn’t we try and find who that belongs to?”

Phil digs into his pocket and feels that familiar weight on his fingertips. He hooks his fingers in the chain and brings it up to look at. He holds it in his head and fights back the feelings of remembrance. Of that night that burns so deeply into his head.

“I’d love to find him and return the necklace.”

“Then we’ll begin to search and try and find him!” Jeanna says. “You said his name is Ethan, right? Maybe he posted photos from your party on social media and I can try and see if locations on Instagram or Twitter will give anything away. You remember what he looks like, correct?”

Phil nods and thinks back, the rose tattoo and the olive skin. The way he felt in his hands and the way his body was so tight and hot around him. He had to stifle back a feeling of arousal as he so desperately wanted nothing more than to feel that pleasure with him again.

“I remember he had a tattoo.” Phil says. “It was a delicate rose. On his hip.”

Jeanna was making notes of it in her phone and nodding along to what Phil was saying. “Okay. Named is Ethan. Rose tattoo on hip. Silver necklace. I’ll see what I can pull up and I’ll let you know.”

Phil nodded and forced out a smile. He felt a tinge of helplessness. Sadness was building in his core because he felt as though maybe it was impossible to try and find Ethan. And maybe Ethan didn’t even want anything to do with him?

But Ethan had to feel that too, right? That spark between them. They worked so well, moved so well.

“Thank you, Jeanna.” Phil says finally. “Now, let’s get some notes ready for our meeting with Luxor.”

***

The meeting with Luxor went better than expected and Phil walked away with the contract signed and a firm handshake from Timothy Duvey. He felt good about this and after seeing some of the concept art behind their pieces, he was ready to see what they really looked like when completed.

He went back to his penthouse and released Jeanna for the evening, telling her to get some rest for a few days, and then he readied himself for the call with Harpers Bazaar. When all of that was said and done, he ordered take out for himself and had the hostess at the buildings front desk bring it up to his penthouse so he wouldn’t be seen.

He ate the Chinese food in silence with nothing more but the TV playing in the background. Maybe for some people, that would ruin what they envision a CEO to be like but this was just who Phil was when he was back in London.

In Amalfi, he’s allowed to be a different person. He’s allowed to act a bit differently, host some parties, and do what he wants to do. In London, he’s bouncing from meeting to meeting, hoping that at some point he can catch another break.

But it’s not just that. London is filled with bad memories for him now. Bad memories of Lukas and how he’s no longer there. Bad memories of that night where he almost lost everything.

He finds himself in tears, like he normally does when he thinks about this, and he wipes them away as quickly as they come. He tries to show that he can be strong. He can make it in a world where he’s lost his husband to a hate crime. But it’s difficult sometimes to forget that.

And maybe that’s why he’s suddenly finding himself dialing an old number in his phone and asking the male to come to his penthouse. Maybe that’s why he’s suddenly crawling into bed with a guy he hasn’t seen in over a year.

It’s not very good. Phil has to admit that. They don’t work together. This guy, Gavin, is only good for Phil to get off with. And he knows that sounds horrible, that that sounds cold hearted. But this is what Phil does.

He sleeps with guys to fill the hole in his heart that was left when he lost the love of his life to a knife.

Phil wakes up the next morning next to him and he asks Gavin to leave and he does. It’s not cute. It’s not hot. Phil actually doesn’t feel much of anything at all.

He gets up to take a hot shower and then he walks to his kitchen to make himself some coffee. He’s going for his phone when that glimmer of silver catches his eye again and sighs.

He needs to find Ethan. Even if it’s just to give the necklace back, he needs to find him.

He needs the closure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Phil’s POV**

“Do you recognize any of these men?” 

Phil looked down at all of the pictures on Jeanna’s tablet. She was scrolling through them all as Phil looked carefully at each picture, trying to figure out if he recognized any of them…so far he hasn’t. 

“No, I don’t.” 

Jeanna bit her lip and then scrolled a bit further down the page. “This is the list of males who were named Ethan who attended a party in Amalfi the same day as yours so I was hoping maybe one would be correct.” 

“None of them are.” 

Phil let out a long sigh and then laid his head down on his arms on his desk. Phil had come into his office today just for this. Jeanna had said she’d done extensive searching and had come up with quite a few people for Phil to look at. But so far, nothing was working. 

“Maybe I can search just for people who were…” 

“It’s not going to work, Jeanna.” Phil said with a defeated sigh. “I’m never going to find Ethan. It’s just hopeless.” 

Jeanna sat back in her plastic chair, the material creaking under her and she shifted her weight from left foot to right foot, crossing the one over the other. She leaned forward and took the tablet away just as Phil lifted his head back up again to face her. 

“But what if it’s not hopeless?” Jeanna asks. “I have some ideas.” 

“Like what?” Phil asks, smoothing his hair back that had fallen onto his forehead and adjusting his now crooked glasses. 

“Just wait and see!” Jeanna said with a smile. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” 

Phil lent her a smile as he sat back in his chair and tried his best to believe that Jeanna would actually work her magic and be able to help him out. 

It’s been a while since Phil has felt like this over another guy. He actually thinks that last time he’s been so adamant to find a one night stand was well…Lukas. That was nearly 15 years ago and the thought of it being that long since he’d known Lukas was painful, squeezing his heart in all the wrong ways. He fights back the tears that begin to move forward as he thinks about blonde hair and green eyes. 

He’s still thinking about Lukas, tempted to pull out his phone and look through the locked album on his phone that holds all of his and Lukas’s memories from years past. But just as he starts to reach into his pocket, Jeanna slaps down her tablet onto the table and looks at Phil with an excited smile. 

“I have my idea!” 

“Go on?” Phil asks, laughing at how enthusiastic she’s being about this. 

“We’ll put out a search for him! Surely if he knows we’re looking for him, he’ll come forward right?” 

Phil furrows his brows. “This sounds like a really bad idea.” 

“But what if it’s not?” Jeanna asks, pinching the display on her iPad to enlarge a post she’d drafted on Phil’s Twitter. “What if we advertise that we’re looking for a male named Ethan who has a rose tattoo on their hip.” 

“But isn’t that going to make some people go out and deliberately get a tattoo just to try and fit the mould of Ethan?” Phil asks because that’s a serious thing he feels like could put a damper in their search. 

“Well, of course. But only _you’ll _know the correct Ethan right?” Jeanna asks. “Like if we put out a search and say 1,000 Ethan’s come forward fitting our description, that must mean you can surely pick out _your _Ethan from the crowd?” 

Phil taps his fingers against his chin and thinks on it. This could either go horrifically or this could go great and he can find the _actual_ man of his dreams. He feels a bit like he’s cheating on Lukas when he says that in his mind. 

But Lukas has been gone for a while now. Lukas would want him to move on and to find someone else to share his life with. But why does he still feel like he’s betraying him when he thinks about Ethan and how much he would love to be with him? 

Maybe this is why he spent so much of the last few years throwing parties and sleeping with the first man he found attractive? Because maybe if he left himself convinced that if he was just mindlessly sleeping with men, then he wasn’t cheating on Lukas because he didn’t feel anything. 

But now that he feels something…

“Phil, are you okay?” 

Jeanna almost never addresses him as his first name. And maybe if his head was a bit more clear, he would warn her against it but this time, he doesn’t mind. He needs someone to keep him grounded and Jeanna does just that most of the time. That’s why he hired her a few years ago when he realized that he needed someone like her. 

“You _want _to find Ethan right?” 

Phil nods and glances back at her with a sad smile on his face. “This is the first time I’m actively tried to pursue someone since…since Lukas died.” 

Jeanna gives him a watery smile and reaches out, patting his arm with her delicate hand. “He would have wanted this, you know? He would have wanted to see you meeting someone new who you wanted to be with.” 

A brash part of Phil wants to tell her that no, she possibly couldn’t know because she never even so much as met Lukas. But he also knows that she’s completely correct and so he nods and lets his eyes cloud over a bit with unshed tears as he holds them back. 

“I want to find him.” He finally says. “I really want to find Ethan.” 

“Then we’ll find him.” She says. “One way or another, we’ll find you _your _Ethan.” 

Phil nods back and lets out a small laugh as he glances down at her tablet again. 

“So tell me,” Jeanna says, picking the iPad away from Phil’s view. “What did Ethan look like?” 

Phil feels his lips curl into a large smile as he begins to describe all of the features of Ethan from his memory. 

***

**Dan’s POV **

Dan is out with Samantha at a party in some rich guys penthouse in London when he sees the Twitter notification scroll across his phone from a breaking news site. He’s a few drinks down and at least a half a sheet to the wind when he feels like his world is crashing down around him. 

_BILLIONAIRE CEO PHIL LESTER IS SEARCHING FOR ETHAN: A MALE HE MET AT HIS PARTY A FEW WEEKS AGO. DETAILS BELOW _

Dan feels like all of his breath is sucked out of him as his fingers begin to shake and he sets down his half-full glass onto the bar and steps away from a male named Johnathan who had been trying to get into his pants for the last half an hour. Dan was close to letting him, if he was being honest. But that was way before he saw that scroll across as breaking news on his phone. 

_Phil Lester, Billionaire CEO of the clothing company Le Grand Amour is looking for what he is claiming to be ‘his one true love’. Lester met with a male by the name of ‘Ethan’ at his party in Amalfi, Italy on the night of July 22nd and wants to be reunited with him. He is hoping that he can find the male that is Ethan. _

_If you’re the Ethan Phil is looking for, Lester is holding a meeting at his office in Victoria on 1st August at 14:00. More details are on Phil’s detailed post linked below. _

Dan looked down at the date on his phone and realized it was July 28th and he felt his heart beat through his chest. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t show up and…_fuck_ he was going throw up. 

Dan rushed out of the party and into the bathroom which was somehow unoccupied and lost all of the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. As the hook in his stomach continued to pull, he heard the door behind him open and a familiar set of hands on his back, rubbing it. 

“Couldn’t hold your alcohol tonight?” Sam asked, her voice oddly soothing. 

Dan sat back and wiped his mouth with some toilet paper and then he threw that into the bowl and flushed the toilet. He struggled to gather his breath and composure. He turned his head and looked at how perfectly polished Sam still was despite the bloodshot in her eyes and the smell of vodka on her breath. 

“You didn’t see what’s breaking news on Twitter?” 

Sam shook her head and pulled out her phone from her fanny pack, looking it over. She tapped on Twitter and Dan watched her mouth drop open as she read over the post. 

“You’re…Dan! Phil fucking Lester is calling you his _true love_.” Sam says, hitting his arm repeatedly with her hand. He pushed her off and mumbled an ow at her excited expressions. “Phil Lester is in love with you!” 

Dan shushed her as he looked at the cocked open door where the lights and sounds were coming through. She noticed his stare at the door and she stood up, shutting it and locking it so no one could get in. “He’s not in love with me, Sam.” 

“He’s literally willing to risk everything to meet hundreds…probably _thousands_ of people to try and find you!” Sam says. “You need to go and meet him on this day!” 

“Sam, that’s a ridiculous fucking idea.” 

“Dan, you’re acting like a fool right now!” Sam exclaims. “Phil Lester is putting out a search warrant for you and you’re sitting here saying it’s a ridiculous idea!” 

Dan looks down between them and lets out a sigh. “He doesn’t want _me, _Sam. He wants Ethan. I’m not Ethan.” 

“But you _are _Ethan!” Sam argues. “You’re Ethan…because you were too damn scared to give Phil your real name so now you’re stuck under a pseudonym.” Sam sat back on her heels. “You liked Phil, right? Like you liked your night with him?” 

Dan shrugged his shoulders. “Of course I loved my night with him. It was sex. It was sex with Phil Lester. Of course it felt incredible.” 

Sam rolled her eyes. “You’re acting completely ridiculous.” 

“And you’re not?” Dan pressed back. “I’m trying to tell you that I don’t want to meet him again and you’re pushing me to do so!” 

“I’m not pushing you to do anything, Dan. I’m _telling _you that you need to meet up with Phil because if you don’t, you’ll regret that for the rest of your life.” Sam lets out a sigh. “But lets not do this right now. We’re both a bit tipsy and this conversation isn’t getting anywhere. Let’s just sleep on it.” 

Dan stands up on wobbly legs and quickly agrees as he moves past Sam and walks out of the bathroom, ignoring Johnathan who was rushing towards him as a last resort. He gets to the elevator just in time for the unshed feelings to unleash as he fell into the corner and cried all 15 floors down to the bottom. 

***

Dan slept on it but in the morning, his mind was still not mad up. He texted Sam and apologized for snapping at her last night and she apologized back too and then they made up by sending each other pictures of memes they saw and everything went well. 

For most of the next day, Dan spent his time working on a new product sponsorship he agreed to do for a new detox tea that the company had given him a lot of money for. He spent a lot of his time trying to figure out what he should do for the photo. 

He decides to put on an athletic shirt and some shorts and pour some water into a cup as he masked it as tea. He used the caption they sent him in the message and he posted the photo with his unique sales code for his followers to use. He would make some money from those who used it but the payout was bigger just to post the photo than the code was. 

With that posted and approved, he chucked the tea into the garbage because he wasn’t about to actually drink a tea with laxatives in it and then he made actual real tea instead. He went onto his laptop next to go through his new emails from companies and he found a new email from Luxor. 

He opened it up and was still sipping his tea when he read the next email and spat it out all down the front of his shirt. 

_Luxor x Le Grand Amour: Coming Soon _

_Hello Daniel, We wanted to email you to let you know that our collaboration with Le Grand Amour is under way and we would love to have you be the model for our first products. We will get into contact with you in a few weeks time to let you know when you will be needed. You will of course be paid for your time. _

_Best, _

_Timothy Duvey, Luxor CEO _

Dan quickly wiped down his front and felt his heart race as he read over the email over and over again. This couldn’t be happening. He literally wasn’t going to be able to escape Phil at all. He was going to have to confront Phil at some point. 

But why is that so difficult? 

Dan can admit that he likes Phil. Of course he does. He remembers the spark. He remembers how it felt to be with Phil and when he closes his eyes, he can see Phil behind them. He can imagine his life with Phil by his side, showering him in gifts and giving him so much affection. God, Dan wants that so badly. 

He feels touch starved and its been so long since someone has actually wanted him for more than just sex. It feels overwhelming and maybe that’s why Dan is fighting this so much. He’s fighting back these feelings that he hasn’t had time to ever feel. 

Dan puts down the top of his laptop and then opens his phone, opening the calendar. He puts the date August 1st in his calendar and puts down the time and then locks the screen, sitting back in his chair as he felt tears brim his eyes and break through the dam, skittering down his cheeks. 


	6. Chapter 6

**PHIL POV **

“I’m close.”

“Me too.”

Phil thrust in one final time into the male and then fell forward, hiding his face in the males neck. He told himself he wouldn’t do this again. But he fell into bed with the first male he saw at his party tonight and now he’s here in an awkward situation. The male hasn’t finished and he’s feverishly working his hand over himself to do so and Phil is already pulling out and ready to get cleaned up.

The male finishes and they both stand up and separate as Phil takes his clothing and walks to his en-suite bathroom. He doesn’t even remember what the males name is. He just can’t help but notice the resemblance to another certain male that he, hopefully gets to meet tomorrow.

He washes up and cleans up in his bathroom and walks out to see the male is gone and his clothes are gone too. He goes to his bed and runs his hands over his hair and face as he struggles to come to terms with what he’s doing.

He’s just hoping that by tomorrow night, he’ll have the actual male he wants in his bed. Not just some random male to fill the hole in his heart. He reaches into his bedside drawer and pulls out the necklace that he can’t wait to give back to Ethan. He holds it in his hand and looks it over one more time before throwing it into its safe place and laying down into his bed, hoping sleep will come a bit easier.

He tosses and turns most of the night and by the dawn, he’s almost fully awake with nerves. He gets up from bed and walks to his living room to be pleasantly happy that all of the guests are gone and minimal needs to be done to adjust his place.

Phil gets out his laptop and opens it up as he takes a seat on his couch and looks through his emails and then decides he need to just stop doing that. He goes onto Instagram, something he doesn’t do very often, he finds himself looking through random things on his explore page.

But suddenly he comes across a profile from daniel_howell and he clicks on it because the male looks just like Ethan. But the photo can’t be right because this guy is named Daniel and...his head is playing tricks on him. It has to be. He can’t let it do this or else he’ll never find his Ethan.

He gives up on staying up and decides to go back to sleep, hoping his delirious thoughts of this person go away by the time he wakes up for real.

***

“I had the weirdest experience on Instagram last night.” Phil says to Jeanna as he gets to his office a few hours earlier to prepare for meeting his Ethan.

“What happened?” She asked in between bites of her lunch from Costa. She had even brought Phil a sandwich and he thanked her immensely for that since he hadn’t thought to even eat today.

“I went on Instagram and this guy showed up on my explore page and I could have sworn it was Ethan.”

Jeanna’s eyes widened and she looked at him with her hands in the air. “Phil, that’s fantastic!”

“But there is no way that it could be.” Phil says, immediately shutting Jeanna down. “Because the guys profile said his name was Daniel.”

Jeanna furrows her brows. “Oh that’s unfortunate.” She says. “It must be just someone who looks like Ethan.”

Phil shrugged and took another bite of food. He swallowed it down between answering. “But I’m almost sure it’s him.”

Jeanna just looked at him. “But if his name is Daniel, I doubt it would be, right?”

Phil shrugged again and then went back to eating.

“Can you find his profile for me?”

Phil looks back at Jeanna and fishes his phone out front his pocket, ignoring the way his fingers brushed against the necklace that he was still holding just in case he was able to give it back to Ethan today.

He opens his phone and goes to Instagram. He goes to the explore page and goes to the search bar and searches the name of the profile that had came up last night. He remembers it so vividly. He clicks on the profile and he feels his eyes widen a bit in his head because that was Ethan. This guy looked so much like him.

“So this is Daniel?” Jeanna asks, holding the phone in her hand. “He’s handsome.”

Phil felt his cheeks heat up. “Ethan looks just like him.”

Jeanna bites her lip and nods as she hands Phil his phone back. She doesn’t say anything more and Phil doesn’t either. They finish their lunch in peace.

They only had a few hours to pull this event off and if they didn’t get started, they would probably fall behind.

***

“I’m sorry, Phil.”

Phil doesn’t say anything. He just sits back in his chair and looks down at all of the photographs of the thousands of Ethan’s that showed up and feels his heart break a bit more. He shakes his head and tries to ignore the pang in his chest.

“I knew it wasn’t going to work.” He says. “Ethan’s gone.”

Jeanna puts her hand out and puts it on top of Phil’s. He was shaking a bit, both at the nerves that hadn’t quite went out of him and from the fact that he’d literally just spent three hours of his life meeting men that claimed to be his Ethan but no one even came close.

“We’ll find him.” Jeanna says, her voice soft. “I promise.”

***

**DAN POV **

“I couldn’t go.”

Sam just shook her head as she took a final drag from the spiff between her lips. She took the end and rubbed it out in the ashtray in her flat and blew the smoke out past her lips. He knew she would be disappointed.

“Why?” She asks.

“I didn’t want to confront him.” Dan says simply. “I didn’t want to go there and confront him after everything that has happened.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Get it all out now.” Dan says, rolling his eyes.

Sam sits up in the metal chair and looks shakes her head. “You’re really going to shoot your shot with Phil Lester because you don’t want to confront him?”

“What else am I supposed to do, Sam?”

“Go and see him!” Sam says. She picks up her phone and looks at the time and then sighs. “Fuck, actually. I bet he’s not even holding the meetings anymore. It’s well past five.”

Dan just shakes his head and pulls his legs tighter to his chest as he wraps his arms around himself. “I shouldn’t have gave him a fake name.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

Sam isn’t holding anything back and Dan lets out a sad sigh. He could really use the comfort of his best friend right now but he knows she’s not going to give him that. Not when she thinks he’s being an idiot about something.

“You should have gone.” She says, adding onto what she said before. “You should have gone anyway and just spoken to him. I’ve told you before that Phil is a nice guy. If you were to just tell him I’m sure he’d understand. If he’s this keen on finding you, he obviously thinks you’re worth it. Do you know how long its been since I’ve ever heard of Phil Lester dating someone?”

Dan shakes his head.

Sam lets out a sigh. “My family has known Phil Lester since he began his company. He got invited to all of my dad’s special meetings and they’ve always been two people who associated with each other. But since Lukas died, I haven’t seen Phil date anyone.”

Dan furrows his brows and opens his mouth. “Who is Lukas?”

Sam looks rigid and she tenses suddenly. Her mouth open and closes and then she finally answers. “You’ve never heard about Lukas Laurent?”

Dan feels like that name sounds familiar but he can’t really place how he would know so he shakes his head and rests his cheek on his knee as he looks over at Sam. “No I don’t think I have.”

“Lukas Laurent was the founder of Le Grand Amour, you know, Phil’s company. He and Phil technically founded it together but Lukas’s name was always the one getting recognized.” Sam swallows and pauses for a moment. “He was killed a few years in a hate crime in Paris. He was there for business and he went out to a bar one night for a few drinks and on the way back, he was ambushed. His body was found the next morning in a back alley.”

Dan’s mouth fell open and Sam nodded. She pulled her lips in a tight line and then let them go. “That’s horrible.”

“Phil took it really hard. He and Lukas had been together for over ten years and they literally built their lives together and...well, it was all ruined in just one night.” She sits up and adjusts her legs as she sits on her foot and swings the other. “So to know that Phil is looking for someone to love again is such a big deal, Dan. That’s why I’m saying that you should have went to that meeting. You should have went and told Phil who you are.”

Dan felt his eyes cloud up as he struggled to hold back the tears of guilt that were flushing his waterline. He felt like an idiot now. He felt guilty that he didn’t go and try and speak to Phil. And as he picks up his phone and looks at the empty calendar reminder, mocking him on his home screen, he shakes his head and looks out at the foggy London evening.

***

Dan sits the next few days alone in his London flat. He doesn’t bother to speak to Sam and he also doesn’t bother to make an effort to do anything. He does a few more sponsored Instagram posts and he answers a few more emails, but he mostly sits alone and thinks about the what if’s.

What if he had gone to meet Phil at his office? What if he had given Phil his actual name? What if he had made an effort to actually speak to Phil and not just run away with his tail between his legs?

He’s sitting in his flat on a Friday evening with a glass of red wine sitting on the coffee table. His toes are on the edge of the wooden table and he’s hoisted his laptop on his knees to his face.

He goes through a few more of his Instagram dm’s and he answers a few of them and then he notices how his follower count is growing a bit and he’s reached his next milestone, effectively having 500,000 followers now. Which is a lot, he reckons. And he doesn’t quite know what to think if he’s being honest.

Just as Dan is reaching for his glass of wine, his phone buzzes and he picks it up in his head. He reads over the notification saying it’s a dm on Instagram and he cocks his head because he just checked them and surely he can’t have another already?

He opens the message and he sees it is from someone named Jeanna Dupoint and he furrows his brows as he reads it over.

_Hello Dan! My name is Jeanna and I’m Phil Lester’s assistant here at Le Grand Amour. Phil noticed your profile the other day and mentioned that you were very reminiscent of a man he met in Italy by the name of Ethan. In fact, he’s saying you both are identical. He doesn’t know I’ve messaged you but given his reaction at seeing your profile, I’m wondering...are you the Ethan Phil is speaking about?_

Dan feels all breath leave his body and he begins to hyperventilate as he reads over the message over and over again. Should he answer it honestly? He should, shouldn’t he? He’d be stupid if he didn’t.

He begins to type out a message but then he deletes it and backtracks. Fuck, he doesn’t know what to do but the waiting isn’t going to help anything or anyone. He needs to answer her. He has to. He can’t let this get away. But before his thoughts fully can’t comprehend the situation, another message comes through.

_I’d like to arrange a time for you and Phil to meet, if you’re okay with that? I know Phil says he has a necklace for you and if I remember correctly, I had a few conversations with someone over a missing necklace for Dan. Would that happen to be yours?_

Dan sits back on his couch and curls up staring at his phone. He shuts his eyes and squeezes them tight as he struggles to gather his breath.

This wasn’t real. He had to be dreaming.

He picked up the wine glass and finished it all in one gulp.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I’ve said before, I didn’t plan for this fic to be that long so therefore, I think we’ve reached about the halfway point! I’ll let you guys know how many chapters when I finish planning them but I’m thinking it’s only going to be around 13 or 14 chapters in total! 
> 
> But I’m working on finishing up a Halloween fic (details on my tumbr) and I’m already working on a new fic that is super exciting! 
> 
> Happy reading!

**DAN POV**

“You’re not going to chicken out?”

Dan shook his head, pulling out a nice Louis Vuitton top he had acquired from…a few months of doing Instagram sponsorships. It was technically last season, but Dan was hoping that if he wore it well, Phil wouldn’t notice.

“No, I’m not.”

“Are you nervous?”

Dan turned around from his closet to Sam who was sitting on the edge of his bed, her hair in a messy bun and her legs in a pair of Gucci leggings as they swung over the side.

“You’re seriously going to ask me that?”

She laughed. “Right, stupid question.”

“Extremely.”

Dan let out a sigh and buttoned up the shirt, ignoring the tightness around his midsection as the black silk hugged his curves in a bit of an unflattering way. He tried to smooth down the fabric but it didn’t look any better.

“Will you stop, fussing?” Sam asked, standing up and walking over to him. “You could literally walk in in a shirt from Topman and I’m sure Phil would still be head over heels for you.”

“But he thinks it’s Ethan showing up, not me.”

And that was the thing that was holding him back just a little bit.

Right now, Phil was under the impression that he was meeting one more Ethan. He wasn’t under the impression that he was meeting the Ethan. And he definitely didn’t know he was actually named Dan.

He was set to show up to Phil’s office in just an hour and Jeanna was sending a car for him to pick him up from his flat. He was trying to figure out what to even wear but he honestly had no idea if his wardrobe was even up to Phil’s Lester standards…if Phil even had standards with clothing? That had to be a thing right?

“You’re overthinking.” Sam says. “I can tell by the expression in your eyes.”

“Sam…”

“Look,” Sam puts her hands on Dan’s arms and spins him around so he can look into the full length mirror next to his closet. “You look great, Dan. And Phil is going to know immediately who you are and it’s going to be perfect, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

Sam nodded and squeezed his arms reassuringly. “Of course.”

She lets him go and he takes one more look into the mirror before he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He wills himself to calm down as he takes a seat next to Sam on the bed and waits for the call that the driver has arrived.

***

It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. Dan wasn’t entirely sure if he was still capable of going through with everything. He was sitting in the back of the black cab with his stomach turning so fiercely he nearly had to ask the driver to pull over to get some air. He feels like he’s actually capable of getting sick from anxiety.

Then they pull up to this lavish building that Dan has passed multiple times but never suspected to be the offices of a major CEO of a company. The driver lets him out and he thanks him with a head nod as he fixes his shirt again and smooths out his trousers and walks inside.

He goes through a brief area of security and then he’s being met by a blonde woman on the other side, her hair in a perfect braid that cascades over his shoulder and her outfit polished and pristine. She smiles when she sees him and Dan smiles back because he’s assuming from the photos that he’s seen that this is Jeanna.

“Hello!” She says, her voice is a bit high pitched and to Dan’s already anxious mind, it catches him a bit off guard. “Are you Daniel?”

Dan nods and forces a smile as he pushes his hand out and she shakes it firmly. When Dan pulls his hand away, he can feel how much softer his palm is and he resists the urge to feel his skin and look like a weirdo.

“Yes, I am.”

“Perfect!” She says. “Phil is waiting up in his office and he’s under the impression he’s meeting another Ethan. I do have to warn you though that he’s feeling very defeated right now and so I apologize on his behalf if he is…”

“I get it.” Dan says, cutting her off. He winces immediately after and she just laughs and waves him off.

She motions for him to follow her so he does and they get into an elevator and she pushes for the 13th floor. They climb up and it’s a bit awkward standing next to her but as the elevator doors open and they walk outside to a gorgeous office floor, Dan feels his nerves settle just a bit.

She walks him around a couple of desks and then they’re walking towards the back of the floor and then Dan feels his breath leave him as he sees Phil’s name on his door.

Phil Lester: CEO

Just inside, he can see through the windows and see Phil sitting at his desk with his head in his hands and fuck, Dan feels sick again. Jeanna knocks on the door before Dan can really do anything and Phil is looking up and calling for them to come in.

Jeanna opens the door and Phil looks over at them and just as he opens his mouth to speak, he stops and stands up. “Ethan?”

Dan feels his cheeks blush as Phil rushes around the desk and immediately stands in front of him. Dan feels like he’s center stage, like everyone is looking at him. His breath leaves his chest.

“Is it really you?” Phil asks, looking him up and down. “I’m not just imagining this?”

Dan shook his head and Phil opened his arms and suddenly he was being taken into Phil’s embrace and it made his eyes water. He was strong, and his grip was comforting in ways that Dan couldn’t even imagine. When Phil pulled away, it stung a bit and he missed the warmth that had just engulfed him.

He was still looking at Phil when he suddenly reached into his pocket and fished around for a moment. He pulled out the silver chain and Dan’s mouth opened in a gasp as he looked at the necklace he had missed so much.

“My necklace!” Dan exclaims. “My grandma gave this to me and I’m so happy to have it back!”

Phil smiles and pushes it to him. “I woke up the next morning with it in my bed.”

Dan feels a blush creep over his cheek and when he looks up, Phil’s cheeks are blushing as well. Dan lets out a nervous laugh and Phil extends his hand out with the necklace, offering it back to Dan. Dan takes it gently in his grasp and fights back a smile.

“Do…do you want to go out and get some coffee?” Phil asks. “I know this is all a bit sudden but I’d love to get to know you more.”

Dan nods and bites his lip and forces out a smile as he tucks the necklace in his pocket and follows Phil out the door.

***

Phil couldn’t keep his hands off from Dan from the moment they left the office. And Dan didn’t entirely mind that. His hand was always rubbing up his back and his arm was always wrapped around his waist, keeping him close as they walked the short distance.

They went to a coffee place down the street and when the door opened, people did quick stares at them but no one actually minded. They got a private booth in the back and the moment they were alone, Dan watched as Phil turned to him and smiled.

“You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”

The blush that rises on his cheeks is the same one that rose as soon as he walked through the office door, he can feel it. He lets out a nervous giggle and hide his face behind his hands and Phil reaches up, pulling his hands away.

They order their coffee—or more like Phil orders for them—and then as they wait for it to arrive, Phil talks to Dan about the necklace and how he’d kept it specifically to give to him and Dan felt like his heart was swelling three sizes.

When their coffee came and they both waited for it to cool, Dan watched as Phil leaned into him a bit more, his hand coming up to rest on Dan’s shoulder. Dan shivered at the touch and Phil smiled.

With the buzz of the afternoon picking up in the air, Dan finally looked deep into Phil’s eyes and smiled brightly as Phil leaned forward and whispered. “Can I kiss you?”

And Dan nodded.

Phil reached up and placed his hand on Dan’s cheek, holding him steady as he connected their lips in perfect form. It was like everything Dan remembered. It was light and it was stunning. The air in his lungs got sucked out and he pulled back, his chest heaving. Phil reached up and leaned forward, pushing their lips together again and it was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

When they pulled away longer, Phil stroked his cheek and matched his smile. “How did you end up at my party that night?”

Dan wasn’t expecting the question but he shallows and then answers anyway.

“I’m really good friends with Samantha Pampau.” He says, taking a sip of his latte that was sitting on their table. “She and I have been friends for a few years now and she attends a lot of parties like that. She asked me to go when we were in Amalfi and I went.”

Phil chuckled and Dan watched his face for any signs of red flags. He knew that Phil knew Sam’s family well and that he knew Sam pretty well too. “Well, I’m glad she brought you to the party or else we never would have met.”

Dan nods and his lips creep up into a smile. “I’m glad I went. Even if I lost my necklace and spilled my cocktail all over your carpet.”

Phil laughs and waves it off. “Wasn’t a big deal. Not when that got me to actually go over and speak with you.”

“Would you have done that regardless?”

Phil looks at Dan and Dan finds himself falling getting pulled in deeper into those perfect blue eyes. “Done what?” Phil asks.

“Talk to me.” Dan says. “I wasn’t exactly the best dressed person and I was wearing last years Gucci and...”

Phil shuts Dan up with a quick kiss. “You caught my attention the moment you walked into the room and I knew I had to get to know you. It’s cheesy, and I know that. But I also know that there was something telling me I had to speak to you.”

Dan lets out a snort. “Like fate?”

Phil shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Do you believe in all of that?”

“I believe that two people are brought together because they’re meant to be together.” Phil says. “Like how I believe that fate brought you to me to that night. I haven’t experienced that feeling in such a long time that I knew I had to have you.”

Dan bites his lip and tries to still the furious blush that is creeping over his cheeks for the millionth time.

“We had a spark.” Dan finally says, turning his head back. “I felt it that night.”

“I did too.”

He was feeling better about all of this now. He was sure that he wasn’t making a mistake anymore. He was happy to be here and be with Phil Lester. And he was feeling pretty damn good about it. He feels a bit dumb as he thinks back at how reluctant he was to speak to him before. But all that matters is they’re here now, sitting in this high end coffee shop in a private booth no one can see them in, sharing quick kisses and get-to-know me statements.

Dan reaches out and puts his hand on top of Phil’s and Dan draws in a breath as Phil entangles their fingers together.

“I know Sam would probably be laughing if she knew I said this but I’m actually really glad that you fucked me so well I lost my necklace in your bed.”

Phil snorts and laughs loudly.

Yeah, Dan’s very certain about this.

***

Dan’s plan wasn’t to fall into bed with Phil right away but it happened. Maybe it was inevitable…maybe they just worked best during sex…Dan didn’t know. But after the coffee shop, Dan was planning on leaving and saying his goodbyes. But Phil stopped him and gave him his private cell phone number and then as they were departing, asked if Dan wanted to come over to his penthouse for a while so they could get to know each other.

So Dan went.

It was two glasses of wine and a lot of laughing and kissing that got them to this point but Dan wouldn’t have it any other way.

Phil was beautiful and he was warm and perfect in every way. The way his body felt against Dan’s had his back arching and his mind reeling.

Sex with Phil was like no other. It was raw and it was emotional and it was everything Dan needed. And maybe it was everything Phil needed too.

Dan knew he was being loud, his moans and whimpers slipping past his lips with no control. But the way Phil thrusted faster into him, giving him everything he ever wanted made Dan not be ashamed of his loudness. Phil wanted this just as much.

It ended all too soon and Phil collapsed on top of him with a heaving chest and sweat soaked hair. Dan smiled, moments of sparks and bliss coursing through his veins. He never felt so satisfied in his life.

Phil kissed him over and over again and Dan smiled into them as he wrapped his arms around him and help him close.

Dan felt himself falling asleep beside him, Phil’s arms wrapped around him as he held him to his chest.

But as his eyes finally relax and his mind begins to turn off, he’s brought back to reality with the fact that Phil still thinks he’s Ethan. Dan tried to repress the fact that Phil moaned out the name “Ethan” as he finished.

And it’s bittersweet.


	8. Chapter 8

**PHIL POV**

It was morning when Phil wakes up and sees Ethan curled onto his side on the bed beside him. His chin resting on his hand and his hair pressed disheveled onto the pillow. The light from the window was streaming down onto him like the sky opened up and sunshine poured through the clouds down. It was like the first ray of sunshine on a summer day. 

Warmth. 

Phil realizes this sounds incredibly cheesy but it’s hard for him to not feel that way when he finally has the man he’s been looking for in his life. It felt like all of the weeks leading up to this were worth it with all of the sadness and defeat that would well up inside of him. 

It was like he was finally able to feel the same feelings he felt for Lucas all those years ago. 

As he looks down at Ethan and smiles, he lets out a sigh through his nose. It had been so long since Phil has allowed for himself to feel this way about another man. He had withheld these feelings for so long because a part of him was saying that he was betraying Lukas. He felt like he wouldn’t— _ no, couldn’t— _ be in love with another man because that would meant he finally no longer loved Lukas. 

But that’s not really the case at all and Phil realizes this now. He realizes all of this as Ethan’s shoulders rise and fall just the slightest amount as he breathing picks up a bit and then he’s turning in bed, the sheets rucking up on his lower half. 

Phil forgets that they’re both naked until he notices the hair on Ethan’s happy trail peeking out from under the lowered duvet and it makes his heart swell as he remembers the night before, and how amazing it was to be in the throes of passion with Ethan again. 

Ethan stirs a little bit more and then his eyes open and it’s like golden honey pouring into Phil’s soul. 

“Morning.” 

Ethan’s eyes open a bit more and he reaches up and rubs the tiredness out of them by rubbing his fisted hands onto them. He then stretches and the blanket slips down a bit more and Phil looks down just in time for Ethan to grab it and pull it back up, covering all that he can. 

“Did you sleep well?” Phil decides to ask. 

Ethan looks up at him and nods with a sleepy smile. “Yeah. Did you?” 

Phil nodded and leaned down, pressing their lips together in a quick kiss. Ethan lets out a sigh against Phil’s lips and his body goes lax as he relaxes and melts into it. Phil reaches out with a shaking hand to Ethan’s arm and rubs up and down on the skin. 

The same electricity that was there before was there again and it feels like more. 

The kissing doesn’t progress much because as soon as Phil begins to roll Ethan onto his back to hover over him, his phone begins to ring loudly from the bedside table. He groans and pulls back, rolling onto his back as he reaches for it and grabs it in his hand. He doesn’t bother to see who it is, he presses answer and then presses for speaker phone and let’s the voice ring through. 

“Phil! Where are you? You’re missing the meeting with Luxor.” 

Phil quickly sits up in bed with the sound of Geoffrey’s stressed voice ringing through his speaker. “Oh shit. That’s this morning isn’t it?” 

“Phil, it started a half an hour ago. We were putting it on hold until you arrived but you’re still not here.” 

Geoffrey sounded upset and Phil understood it. He should have been more responsible. He had been a bit reckless with Ethan but in his defense, he never thought he would see Ethan ever again so this was a major deal to him to have Ethan with him. 

“I can be to the office in 20,” Phil says, throwing the duvet back and hissing at the cool temperature of the room hitting his naked flesh. “I’m so sorry.” 

He hangs up before Geoffrey can say anything back and he goes to turn around to Ethan when he notices Ethan is already out of bed and stepping into a pair of boxers. “I’m so sorry.” Phil began, causing Ethan to jump. “I completely forgot about the meeting with Luxor today. My company is collaborating with them and this was our project planning meeting so I need to be there to give my input.” 

Ethan lets out a small smile and nods. “It’s okay. I should get going anyway.” 

He’s slipping his shirt back onto his arms when Phil jumps up and rushes over to him. “Please tell me I’ll see you again?” 

Phil feels a bit pathetic, a bit desperate, asking Ethan if he can see him again but the nod and blush that Ethan supplies him with is enough to help him brain from overthinking it. “I’ll call you later, okay?” Phil says. 

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Ethan says before he brushes up against Phil and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He finishes dressing and slips out the door before Phil has time to say anything else. 

His heart hurts a bit to see him go and a part of him is worried it’ll be the last time. But another part of him is telling himself that this is definitely not going to be the last time and everything will be okay and Phil will see Ethan as soon as possible. 

***

“Where were you?” 

Phil is rushing into the building with Geoffrey waiting for him just past the security clearance desk. “I was busy.” 

“Doing what?” Geoffrey prodded. “Having a final shag with a bloke you met last night?” 

Phil rolled his eyes. “No, in fact, Ethan spent the night.” 

Geoffrey pressed the button for the elevator and scanned his ID badge in to activate it. “Ethan?” 

“The guy I met in Italy.” 

They stepped into the elevator and made their way up to the 10th floor. When the doors opened, they both stepped out and hurried to the conference room. 

“The guy you’ve been looking for?” Geoffrey asks and Phil nods. Geoffrey gives him a cheeky smile and elbows him gently in the ribs. “Phil, you sly—“

“Shhh!” Phil warned. “I don’t even know if it’s quite a thing yet so just—”

They push open the conference door and Phil greets all of the people sitting there with handshakes. “I apologize for the lateness,” He begins but as he sees that no one else is impressed with his excuse, he shuts up and looks up at the powerpoint that Geoffrey is now referring to. 

It’s halfway through the meeting when the words, “Amalfi office” catch Phil’s attention. He looks up from his notepad and sees that Geoffrey is talking about how they believe their Amalfi office could help establish and international shipping point for their clothing. 

Phil’s intrigued now because Amalfi, while it never had much place in his heart before, had plenty of space now. It was the small coastal town where he met Ethan and it’s the city where his life changed forever. And yeah, he was just there not that long ago but if he can experience that all over again he—

“I’ll go to Amalfi and oversee the company.” 

The words are out of his mouth before he can even process what he has just said. He just agreed to temporarily uproot his entire life to Amalfi to oversee that international branch. 

Geoffrey set down his laser pointer and leaned on the table. “Phil…are you…?” 

“I really think it would be the best,” Phil says. “I can manage the company from Amalfi and help overlook the proceedings while everything is underway here in London. It only makes sense if I go instead of sending someone else there who isn’t going to know what they’re doing.” 

“Are you positive this is what you can do?” 

Phil bites his lip and nods his head and then the entire table erupts into chatter as Phil stands up, grabs his notebook, and leaves the room. 

Jeanna finds him in his office a short time later with a scorned look on her face. “Are you mad?” She says. 

“Possibly.” 

“You’re absolutely mental to go to Amalfi and oversee the company from there while this major collaboration is happening.” 

“It’s not mental,” Phil says. “Amalfi was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to go back there.” 

“But Ethan is here.” Jeanna counters. “So are you going to leave Ethan behind while you uproot to Amalfi for a few months?” 

And just like that, a lightbulb goes off in Phil’s head and he excuses himself out of the office. He makes his way to his private bathroom and steps inside as he dials Ethan’s number. 

Ethan answers after a few rings and a confused but hopeful “hello?” rings through the speakers. 

“Do you want to come to Amalfi with me to live for a few months?” 

Phil hears a loud boom on the other side of the line. 

* * *

**DAN POV **

He dropped his phone. He dropped his damn cell phone as soon as Phil spoke those words because  _ what the ever-loving fuck was happening?  _ They just reconnected and now Phil is asking him to stay with him in Amalfi for a few months. Could he even do that? 

“Ethan? Ethan? Are you there?” 

It still makes Dan cringe to hear Phil use his fake name. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry I dropped my phone.” 

Phil laughed on the other side. “So what do you say?” 

Dan feels his mouth slack open and he runs a hand over his face before he finally says. “Yeah.” 

“You’ll come with me to Amalfi?” 

Dan nods and then laughs. “Yeah, I’ll come with you.” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t think you actually agree!” Phil says. “I have to work out the logistics but we’ll leave in a few days. No need to worry about money or flights, I have you covered okay?” 

Dan feels the giddiness bubble up inside of him as he says a quick okay and then they both hang up. Dan falls to the floor of his bedroom and Sam looks up at him from where she is sat on his bed. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I was just asked to go to Amalfi with Phil.” 

Sam shot up from the bed. “WHAT?” 

Dan just nodded with a massive smile because he couldn’t believe it had been real either. 

“Did you agree?” 

Dan nodded again and Sam screeched. “DAN WHAT THE FUCK!” 

“I’m going to Amalfi with Phil.” Dan repeated. “I’m fucking going to Amalfi with Phil for a few months and we’re going to drink wine and cruise around on his yacht and have lots of sex and I’m—this can’t be real, right?” 

Just as soon as he questioned reality, his phone buzzed again and he looked down to see a new text from Phil telling him that he wanted to see Dan that night. Dan bit his lip and smiled down at his phone as he answered that he would definitely be there. 

“We need to get you some new clothing to take!” Sam exclaimed. “Oh my gosh, we need to go now!” 

“Sam, you know I don’t have the money to buy a bunch of brand new clothes.” 

Sam rolled her eyes and walked over to his closet. She opened the doors and begin to rifle through his various shirts and hanging pants. “How do you not have any nice clothing to take to Amalfi? Didn’t we buy you some before we left the last time?” 

Dan shook his head. “Most of it was rented from a company, remember? It was part of my sponsorship deal. All of those clothes got returned.” 

Sam shut the door and turned around on her heels. She reached out, grabbing Dan’s arm in her palm with a hard grasp, and she yanked him towards the door. 

“Come on, let’s go.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m taking you shopping,” Sam exclaims. “We’re getting you some expensive clothing just for Phil to remove and through on the floor of his home every night.”

Dan lets out a loud laugh and follows her out of the flat. 

***

The shopping was just as eventful as Dan had thought it was going to be. He tried on--and he’s not exaggerating-- _ hundred  _ of tops. Sam had also been super strict about what he was allowed to buy and after seeing the price ring up on the till every time, he would try to wrestle the black credit card out of Sam’s hand. But of course, Sam bought him a bunch of new clothing even though he protested to most of it. And now, after putting it all away, he’s on his way in a car called by Phil to Phil’s penthouse. 

Dan’s extremely nervous, but not in a bad way. He’s super excited to be able to see Phil again but he’s also nervous because this is a lot happening all of the sudden. Just a few days ago, he was figuring out whether or not even wanted to show up to meet Phil. And now he’s kissed Phil, spent the night with again, and he’s going to Amalfi. 

The car stops in front of the penthouse and Dan gets out, nodding a thank you to the driver as he goes inside and buzzes to go up to Phil’s place. When he gets inside the elevator, he pushes for Phil’s floor?l, which is appropriately labeled, and the doors open just outside of Phil’s penthouse. 

Phil opens the door as soon as Dan steps up to it and he wraps his arms around Dan without a warning and Dan slips his arms around Phil’s waist as Phil kisses up and down his neck, sucking lightly on the tender skin. It’s not enough to leave a mark but it’s enough for Dan to feel the pleasure from it. 

Phil stops and walks them back into his living room and he brings Dan to his couch where he has two glasses of red wine poured and a plate of meat and crackers setting out. “I didn’t know if you wanted anything to eat but I ordered us sushi from my favorite place that will be here in a few. I poured us a glass of wine while we wait.” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Dan blushes. “You don’t have to do any of this.” 

Phil smiled. “Well, then think of this as a celebration of you agreeing to come to Amalfi with me.” 

Dan smiled and picks up the glass. He raises it up to his lips and takes a sip and it’s easily the best wine he’s ever had. He pulls it back and looks at Phil with a stunned look who just laughed. “Never has wine before?” 

Dan scoffed. “Of course I have but I’ve never had wine this good.” 

Phil laughs a bit more. “Well, expect it from now on. Because you only deserve the finest everything.” 

Phil leans over and attaches his lips to Dan’s neck again. Dan reaches up and puts his hand on the back of Phil’s neck and holds him in place, letting Phil suck and leave bruises on his skin. He’ll have marks for a few days now but he doesn’t care. Let people see them and see that Phil did them. 

Dan let out a moan and Phil pulled back, connecting their lips. Dan sighs into the kiss and melts again. His body feels so relaxed with Phil, so ready. Everything feels so good, so right. 

“I still can’t believe that you’ve agreed to come with me,” Phil says pulling away. “I never thought that this would ever happen.” 

Dan smiles. “I can’t wait to get to explore Amalfi with you.” He says. “I can’t wait to be there and relive the night when we met.” 

Phil blushes. “I can’t believe you’re real, Ethan.” 

He leans down and kisses Dan and Dan feels a bit caught off guard by Phil still thinking his name was Ethan. He should correct him. He should say something before this gets too far deep and he no longer can say anything. 

He pulls back and opens his mouth to say the words but the doorbell buzzing into the penthouse interrupts his thoughts and he decides that he’ll wait until a better time. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, leave a comment and some kudos and send me a message on my tumblr @yiffandquiff!
> 
> Updates every Saturday!! If there is no update, check my blog on Tumblr for more info!


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